10 Tips for Avoiding Holiday Dating Disasters
If you are single:
1. If you find yourself unattached in December, rejoice!
“Avoid dating till January!” The holidays stress us out — there’s so much to do, shopping sucks, it’s cold, and any existing family tensions are exacerbated — so trying to get a new relationship started is the last thing you want to add to your to-do list, especially because there are so many holiday minefields that could blow the fragile little romance… People are so much more sensitive around holly days.
If you have just started dating someone:
2. Don’t feel compelled to bring some new guy to your Christmas party with all your drunk friends.
Parties can be stressful and awkward for even the most graceful people — and adding a new beau to the mix will just increase the pressure on you. Plus, a bunch of people standing around talking – while getting drunk and doing crazy dance moves is no outsider’s idea of fun if he is shy. He’ll probably be relieved if you let him off the hook, explaining it’ll be easier on both of you that way. Don’t invite your beau too early.. 😉
3. Similarly: Don’t be offended if he doesn’t bring you to his.
It goes both ways.
4. Think twice about casually inviting him to any family holiday party.
Don’t tell yourself, “Oh, what the hell..
Introducing a new guy to anyone in your family automatically ups the ante, especially during the holiday season. Also, sometimes our families make us act not like our better selves… hahaha Mine is amazing – they will make me sound awesome – love them. But I don’t know yours. You don’t want a new guy to see you behaving childishly. What’s more, your relatives might be weird or annoying or simply not his kind of people. Your mother — whom everyone thinks you look so much like may scare him off hahaha.. My mom is hot, so not a issue for me 🙂 Your father could be the kind of jackass no one would ever want to be in a restaurant with, and so on. So make sure he’s seriously into you before easing him into your family.
If you’re more serious:
5. Talk about the gift situation.
Not sure if you two are serious enough to buy each other gifts? Or feeling uncertain about how much to spend? Talk about it rather than tiptoeing around the issue. Ask if he thinks exchanging gifts would be fun — and, of course, tell him how you feel. If neither of you is making much money, agree to do something inexpensive. You can also simply make each other presents, like a sportify list (consisting of a cozy winter soundtrack or a sexy soundtrack).
6. Think “compromise” rather than “sacrifice.”
Are you and your new boyfriend talking about how to split up the holidays? Does he want you to spend the holidays with his family members, while you want him to spend them with yours? If it’s geographically possible, split the difference. Do Christmas Eve with his folks, and spend the day of the 25th with yours, or lunch with one clan and dinner with the other. Or consider doing Christmas with one tribe and New Year’s with the other. If logistics are tricky, and neither of you wants to disappoint your family (or yourself!) by not seeing them over the holidays, simply agree to go your separate ways for the day — and do a special holiday dinner together, just the two of you, sometime before New Year’s Eve. Don’t make drama be flexible.
7. Do some advance work.
If your boyfriend has pleasantly agreed to come to your Aunts house for some Christmas food, give him a sense of what he might be in for so he can prepare himself. If she’s going to grill him about his job, alert him. Or, if you know an inquisition will make him miserable, ask Auntie, if she will leave the questions out 😉 Let him know about anything he can do to earn easy brownie points. Perhaps Auntie will love him forever if he brings her flowers, or if he compliments her on her decorations. Think ahead about the little things you can do to make the day more socially smooth for everyone. And if you’ll be with his family, ask him if he has any tips for you to make a great impression.
8. Pay attention to his dietary preferences.
The guy you’re dating is a vegetarian, and your grandmother thinks no meal is complete unless it features something that once mooed or snorted ? Bring along a Tofu something and some vegan cookies. If he’s the type who gets irritable when he’s hungry — and you have a long drive to get to the relatives’ place — bring some snacks in the car. If you both will be spending the night with the folks, and you know your parents don’t drink coffee — and your boyfriend can’t be human in the morning without his — consider bringing along a French press and some ground coffee… 😉 yes ladies plan ahead to avoid disasters.. 😀
9. Pay attention to your own physical needs.
Do your best to get enough sleep and to make time for exercise, especially if it’s important to you. The better you feel physically, the more likely you are to feel psychologically at ease, too. I can’t function without sleep or exercise. What about you?
No matter what:
10. Take it easy on the alcohol at all times.
People often think drinking will ease all tensions and make everyone jollier. Instead, it regularly disables people’s manners, amplifies any underlying moodiness or resentment, and encourages them to do things that are ridiculous, inappropriate, or offensive. So have a glass of wine or two with dinner, but go easy. And if the person you’re dating has a tendency to overindulge, ask him to make an effort to keep himself in check. If he has trouble pacing himself, suggest that he commit to having two glasses of water — or three — for every alcoholic beverage. But hopefully you don’t need to be a babysitter for your boyfriend – maybe rehab is better! 😉 I remember being with a x boyfriend’s family for the first time. watching he’s cousins new girlfriend – also there for the first time – make a complete fool of herself by getting too drunk. She made such a bad impression, all the parents present didn’t like her – I did really well – they all liked me, compared to her – I was a angel!! So I should have thanked her for getting too drunk.